Have a Gomessy Christmas!

A Gomessy Xmas

“It's the age-old tale:      Boy meets girl.      Boy stalks girl.      Girl already has a stalker.      Boy becomes her stalker-stalker.”

“No Hope for Gomez!” is the award winning comedy novel that has already wrecked thousands of reasonably useful minds. To end the year with a twist, you get the Geeky eNovel “A Gomessy Xmas: Random acts of senseless kindness” with your copy of No Hope. Simply send your Amazon receipt to nohopeforgomez@gmail.com before January 15th.

As a bonus, and for a limited time only, reading “No Hope for Gomez!” will also make you more attractive to the opposite sex, and it will increase your random luck by about 9.5%
(These statements have not been evaluated by anyone of consequence.)

Read a free chapter here. , and get more details on this offer here.

"Extremely witty and clever writing that contains keen insights into human nature." California Chronicles "The antics in this book will leave the reader laughing. Graham Parke is a genius." Readers Favorite "A quick and unputdownable read that flies in the face of reason and smashes against the wall of detective novels. It's a Coens Brothers' film formatted in book form." BookReview.com

Merry Christmas

A Parents Night Before Christmas

A Parents Night Before Christmas

'Twas the night before Christmas
when all through the house
I searched for the tools
to hand to my spouse

Instructions were studied
and we were inspired,
in hopes we could manage
"Some Assembly Required."

The children were quiet (not asleep) in their beds,
while Dad and I faced the evening with dread:
a kitchen, two bikes, Barbie's town house to boot!
And, thanks to Grandpa, a train with a toot!

We opened the boxes,
my heart skipped a beat
- let no parts be missing
or parts incomplete!

"Too late for last-minute returns or replacement;
if we can't get it right, it goes in the basement!
When what to my worrying eyes should appear
but 50 sheets of directions, concise, but not clear.

With each part numbered and every slot named,
so if we failed, only we could be blamed.
More rapid than eagles the parts then fell out,
all over the carpet they were scattered about.

"Now bolt it! Now twist it! Attach it right there!
Slide on the seats, and staple the stair!
Hammer the shelves, and nail to the stand."
"Honey," said hubby, "you just glued my hand."

And then in a twinkling, I knew for a fact
that all the toy dealers had indeed made a pact
to keep parents busy all Christmas Eve night
with "assembly required" till morning's first light

We spoke not a word, but kept bent at our work,
till our eyes, they went bleary; our fingers all hurt.
The coffee went cold and the night, it wore thin
before we attached the last rod and last pin.

Then laying the tools away in the chest,
we fell into bed for a well-deserved rest.
But I said to my husband just before I passed out,
"This will be the best Christmas, without any doubt.

Tomorrow we'll cheer, let the holiday ring,
and not have to run to the store for a thing!
We did it! We did it! The toys are all set
for the perfect, most perfect, Christmas, I bet!"

Then off to dreamland and sweet repose
I gratefull went, though I suppose
there's something to say for those self-deluded-
I'd forgotten that BATTERIES are never included!
(Author Unknown)

Last Minute Gift Ideas

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Find a wide variety of last minute gift ideas in My Book Barn!

The Night Before Christmas For Moms

I stumbled across this on the web & thought it was cute so I wanted to share it wit everyone.

It was the night before Christmas, when all thru the abode
Only one creature was stirring, and she was cleaning the commode.
The children were finally sleeping, all snug in their beds,
While visions of Nintendo 64 and Barbie, flipped through their heads.

The dad was snoring in front of the TV,
With a half-constructed bicycle on his knee.
So only the mom heard the reindeer hooves clatter,
Which made her sigh, "Now what's the matter?"

With toilet bowl brush still clutched in her hand,
She descended the stairs, and saw the old man.
He was covered with ashes and soot, which fell with a shrug.
"Oh great," muttered the mom, "Now I have to clean the rug."

"Ho-ho-ho!" cried Santa, "I'm glad you're awake."
"Your gift was especially difficult to make."
"Thanks, Santa, but all I want is some time alone."
"Exactly!" he chuckled, "I've made you a clone."

"A clone?" she asked, "What good is that?
Run along, Santa, I've no time for chit-chat."
The mother's twin. Same hair, same eyes,
Same double chin.

"She'll cook, she'll dust," She'll mop every mess.
You'll relax, take it easy, Watch The Young & the Restless." "Fantastic!" the mom cheered. "My dream come true!
"I'll shop. I'll read., I'll sleep a whole night through! "

From the room above, the youngest began to fret.
"Mommy?! I scared... and I am wet."
The clone replied, "I'm coming, sweetheart."
"Hey," the mom smiled, "She knows her part."

The clone changed the small one, and hummed a tune,
as she bundled the child, in a blanket cocoon.
"You the best mommy ever. " I really love you."
The clone smiled and sighed, "I love you, too."

child The mom frowned and said, "Sorry, Santa, no deal. "
That's my child's love, she's trying to steal."
Smiling wisely Santa said, "To me it is clear, "
Only one loving mother, is needed here."

The mom kissed her child, and tucked her into bed.
"Thank you, Santa, for clearing my head.
I sometimes forget, it won't be very long,
When they'll be too old, for my cradle-song."

The clock on the mantle began to chime.
Santa whispered to the clone, "It works every time."
With the clone by his side Santa said, "Goodnight. Merry Christmas, Mom, You'll be all right."
(Author Unknown)

Holiday Christmas Decor

I've added so many new products! We now have Holiday Christmas Decor & Christmas Tree Ornaments! We're offering Free Shipping on some of the items! We have also added a new category! It's called New Item's! Be sure to check it out! We also have Brand New Handcrafted Jewelery which we are offering Free shipping on! Would make a great gift or stocking stuffer! There is so much new stuff in My Book Barn & we are still adding more, so be sure to check back often!

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